Thank Goodness for imaginary friends!

English: Paperback book with green cover.

English: Paperback book with green cover. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve finished my tween novel – have I mentioned this? Oh, did I? What! You mean I can’t even brag a little in my own blog! Anywho, I’ve finished this novel, and I’ve got NO.BO.DY to bore about this, except of course you, kind and patient bloggers. But since you have the power and I can’t make you read all about it, I’ll summarise a conversation I had with my imaginary friend, a really cool girl. Although I suspect I’ve bored and disappointed her too, because she hasn’t appeared in my vivid imagination for a while. Psychologists call this growing up, or progress. I call this void.

Well, this is how the conversation went:

Imaginary friend (IF): (do you like the reference to ‘IF’, as in: IF only she existed, or IF only all living friends and family members were like her? Hey?): ‘So, I hear you finished your tween novel. Congratulations. How has the public received it?’

Me: ‘The public?’

IF: ‘Yes, you know, THE PUBLIC. Usually that’s where books end up. In the voracious arms of THE PUBLIC.’

Me: ‘Gee, mmm, two big words there…’

IF: ‘All right then. What about your friends?’

Me: ‘Aw, should I ask my good old friends to read 60,000 words aimed at kids, and make notes? Ha, I have a social life I want to preserve, you know?’

IF: ….

Me: (Why is she looking surprised? And what with the slightly raised right eyebrow? I do have a social life, occasionally at least; work, weather and family permitting. I DO.)

IF: (breaking the uncomfortable silence): ‘OK. Ahem, your husband must be ever so proud. What did he say?’

Me: ‘Husband? Aw, you know, busy busy busy; work work work; long commute and tired tired tired! He may have a free slot next week, I think he said…’

IF: ‘Sisters? They’re the intellectual type. Aren’t they all doctors and such?’

Me: (I have a PhD myself, I’ll have you know, ignorant imaginary friend. She’s always liked my sisters better.) ‘Sure! One of my sisters has, actually, read it. But she’s still in the process of comparing it to all childrens’ literature masterpieces published since the 18th century, this side and the other of the Big Pond. It might take her a while to produce a report.’

IF: ‘Mother? Mothers always like books, even the worst ever, no offence intended…’

Me: ‘Fell asleep during chapter 2…What! She was tired!’

IF:  ‘Your children? You said that the book would be aimed at your son.’

Me: ‘Ha, my son. He’s happy. Yes, happy. Real happy, you know? But he’s intending to read it once it’s been published in paperback format, just to make it easier on the eye. And to get a real sense of what it’s like.’

IF: ‘Published? In paperback format?’

Me: (That look again. Dearie me, next time I’m creating somebody, he or she will not be equipped with any sarcasm, surprised expressions, ability to raise eyebrows and irony.) Why, it’s not his fault! The publishing world is complex and extremely difficult to interpret. Can you actually say you know how it all works? Can you? Can you?’

IF: (Taking a couple of steps backwards): ‘I wouldn’t be as pretentious to admit I do, no! But to think that this first novel of yours is going to appear as a paperback seems, mmm, how shall I put it? Far-fetched?’

Me (Glaring. On second thoughts, she is the only one who is prepared to hear all about my novel, again and again. I count to ten and calm down): ‘OK, lady, you make sense, but nobody said that this would be easy. Writing is a solitary exercise, which can keep one company if one is lonely.’ (Why do I speak like the queen when getting emotional?)

IF: ‘How do you know it’s any good, then?’

Me: ‘Cheeky! My writers group checked out a couple of sections; offered constructive criticism – which I took on board – and it seems very supportive. Besides, I can spot a well written and gripping book from miles, and mine happens to fall in this category. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Although it would be good to get others to confirm my never dwindling self-conviction…’

IF: ‘Do something about it, woman! Get one of your blogging friends to take a look at this MS of yours. They won’t mind. They’ve obviously got more time than sense if posting and writing.’

Me: ‘Steady on! I won’t allow any sneaky stabs at my blogging folks! They are all extremely good at multi-tasking.’

IF: ‘Fine, ask one of those extremely busy but incredibly efficient bloggers you chat with in the ether to cast their knowledgeable eyes on this pile of…’

Me: Hold it! No swearing in my blog! But you do have a point – again. I may ask one or two, if so inclined.’

IF: ‘You know what? You better provide a concise synopsis next time you mock about on WordPress. It might – and this is speculative only – draw some interest, if you’re lucky.’

Me: ‘I might just do that, cool girl, I might indeed.’

END of IMAGINARY CONVERSATION. IF leaves my vivid imagination and the voices in my head stop. Thank Goodness for camomile tea and yoga. Thank Goodness for imaginary friends. Than Goodness for my blogging friends.


About ofglassandbooks

Who, me? A fan of good reads and glass jars experiences; budding fiction writer in the very little and spare time available...
This entry was posted in books, Books, reading, reviews, Books, reading, reviews, jars, glass, reading, tweenagers, women in fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Thank Goodness for imaginary friends!

  1. Now that’s a good conversation! I am so happy for you that your book is finished. My husband has only read one of my books. He’s no help. 😉 I should know this, but I don’t remember — are you self-publishing? When do you think your book will be released?

    • Hello Maddie, so sorry it’s taken me ages to reply! I’m absolutely clueless about publishing. Is the book ready? Will it ever be? when is a book ready? do I have the skills and knowledge to actually self-publish??? So many questions! How did you find the process? Was it time consuming?
      Thanks for your comment and for stopping by! Check out my latest post on Agatha Raisin (MC Beaton’s creation) – I mention you.

      • I’ve been so behind again! Self-publishing was actually very easy. I went into this with no knowledge whatsoever. I started at Smashwords and read Mark Coker’s Style Guide for formatting a book for Smashwords. After publishing successfully there, Amazon was even easier.

        I wrote a blog post about publishing at Smashwords, and I included a .pdf file with pictures. When you’re ready, you might want to peruse it:

        Thank you for the mention! I’m on my way now to take a look. 🙂

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